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16th Nov 2006, 22:00 GMT
In election parlance, we political-type wannabes often talk about "stumbling out of the gate." That's a technical term for "can't chew gum and walk at the same time," and, in its most extreme manifestation, "can't walk and talk at the same time." It has just been announced that soon-to-Be House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D. CA) has won the first but always coveted award of "Stumbling in the Paddock." (I have no idea what a paddock is -- so assume it means where horses wander around stepping in each other's poop while waiting for a race.) This afternoon, the Democrats in the House gave a grand Bronx cheer to the new Speaker by mooning her pick for House Majority Leader, John Murtha (D, PA) and rallying round the guy everyone wanted in the first place, Maryland's own Steny Hoyer. The vote? 149-86. Oops. Months ago, D.C.-based Republican strategist Scott Reed said, only tongue half in cheek, that a lot of high level Democrats didn't want their party to win the House because Pelosi would be Speaker. Pelosi is noted both for her liberal California ways and the fact that he can hold a grudge for years--as evidenced by her support for Murtha. A few years ago, Pelosi and Hoyer ran for the same leadership office. Pelosi won but, according to more sources than can be counted, she made it clear that Hoyer was on her paddock list. Pelosi had been sounding more moderate and accommodating since the recent election, but her written support of Murtha caused many to question just how "centrist" or "moderate" she would be. The size of the vote is a clear indication that she may be the Speaker, but the Democratic Party is not to sit back and let itself be labeled the Liberals who "cut and run." Speaker-to-be Pelosi has a tough enough job without swallowing lit cherry bombs on a bet. Rumors have it that President Bush called her to congratulate her and bet her that she'd never get Murtha cleared. The loser would have to swallow a lit cherry bomb. (It's well known that Bush has a huge stash of far-out fireworks.) It's sure going to be fun, over the next two years, watching both parties embraced in the Dance de Mort struggling for a leg up in the presidential election. At least it'll be a pleasant diversion from all the dances they won't be sharing, such as the Immigration Shuffle, the Medicaid Mash, The Medicare Slide, the Social Security Samba, the Iraqi Iguana, the MidEast Rhuma, and many more than can be mentioned here. One thing about politicians: They never do what you expect. And they never expect to held accountable for their actions. I'm really worried that maybe there's too much fluoride in the Congressional Water Cistern. Crisis/risk/issues management and communications and PR consultant, free-lance writer, aspiring pundit and author. Blogcritics.org asst. ed, politics. Wanted to set world on fire, but bride won't let me play with matches, so I'm counting on upcoming, someday, perhaps novels to accomplish through awe and wild acclaim what arson didn't. Also, yes, I take my meds regularly. Please check out my lit blog, No Blank Pages
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