Friday, July 20, 2007

 caught

 caught in my burble: Just Missing The Horns And A Tail
 Thursday, July 19, 2007
Just Missing The Horns And A Tail  (Related) 

 I woke up this morning at 3am and immediately tried to get back to sleep. The Cymbalta has been disrupting my sleep. I wake early, and then every 15-30 minutes thereafter. At 5am I couldn't take it anymore and just got up. I hate days, and I definitely hate medications that make days longer.



 And as the day has aged, I've looked around, and I've realized that I feel like shit. Yeah, I know, I always do. I just had this psychic feeling that after yesterday's burst of mental health I was supposed to feel better. There should be less pain now. I saw the guy. The smart guy. The guy who knows the literature. The guy with all the questions. The guy with all the answers. I feel better now. Hear the commandment, I feel better now. I was never good, with the commandments.



 Worser and worser it goes, worser and worser it gets. It feels like someone turned up the volume on my nerves so that the lightest breath hurts. I don't know how it's even possible to hurt this much, but, there it is. Pain. Everywhere. I feel possessed. Humans don't act like this. Humans don't feel like this. Maybe demons do.



 I love the taste of blood. Tastes like sex, and death, and life, all rolled up into one. I wonder how much of my blood I can drink before I start to throw up. The human body doesn't digest blood well. Put little incisions in each wrist and suck blood at will. It's nice to have lily white skin to watch the blood ribbon down. I knew demons were red for a reason.

 

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